


Sleepless Night

by Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire



Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [6]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Baz can't talk, Canon Compliant, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Dramatic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Fic, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, POV First Person, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Post-Canon, Prompt Fic, Shep is a good bro, Simon is laughing, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:56:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27723142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire
Summary: [Mature] 18+ Simon and Baz. (Mature rating for languageonly.)Simon and Baz are clearing out the attic, mostly Fiona’s things. Simon stumbles onto a painting and Baz is forever traumatised.COC 2020 Day 5, NOV 29: Sleepless.Inappropriate humour.
Relationships: Fiona Pitch & Simon Snow, Fiona Pitch & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023208
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Sleepless Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LesOublies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesOublies/gifts).



> Dear reader, I hope you will enjoy this silly ficlet. 💙  
>   
>  **Bish** , this is for you. 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for taking care of me every single day. You are amazing. 😭😭😭💙💙💙
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always so many thanks and love to my amazing friends and betas Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)), [shushu_yaoi_lj (llamapyjamas)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushu_yaoi_lj/pseuds/shushu_yaoi_lj) and [Theawkwardbibliophile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theawkwardbibliophile/works).  
>   
> Thank you for all the help and support with this COC and everything I write and for being awesome friends. 💙
> 
> * * *

# BAZ

We are cleaning out the attic and have spent almost the whole night working on it. My aunt has stored far too many of her things here. 

It’s mostly rubbish or it belongs to her exes — musicians’ t-shirts, CDs and cassettes (how old are the people Fiona is dating anyway?) or the journalists’ papers about some new conspiracy theories. 

“Simon, will you grab those paintings over there?” I ask and point at the pile of various paintings, all lying under some kind of textile that may or may not be polyester. (I shudder at the thought.) 

“Baz!“ Simon exclaims and I hear something falling down. 

I look up. Simon is holding a painting of my aunt. 

She is wearing black lingerie and nothing else. The lingerie doesn't leave much to the imagination, practically _nothing_ _at all_. 

I close my eyes and open them again, hoping it was a bad dream and I won’t have a pair of my aunt’s breast imprinted on my irises for the rest of my life.

No such luck, still there.

We might as well work the whole night, I won't be able to sleep tonight. 

“Your aunt is wearing underwear and something that might be a bra,” Simon says and he’s laughing, the wanker. “Is that a double D?”

“ _That’s my aunt_.”

“I know that,” he rolls his eyes. “I’m not ogling her.”

“Then what _are_ you doing?” 

He laughs again, holding onto his stomach, tears running down his cheeks, while I am feeling rather traumatised. 

Not by the breasts. By the fact that my aunt would even be wearing something like that. 

Fiona is ruthless. You’d think she’s out there cursing people, not posing in lingerie. Or is that how she lures them to their _death_? 

“Baz,” Simon tries to speak through loud giggles and tears. “I'm thinking of a way I can use it _against_ her.” 

“Aleister Crowley, Simon,” I try to argue, hoping he'd listen. “My aunt will eat you alive.”

“I’m not into cougars,” he snorts, and practically chokes on his own laughter, coughing violently. That, somehow, still doesn't stop him from cracking up. 

I roll my eyes. My boyfriend is a moron.

“You should stop spending so much time with Shepard.”

“But, Baz,” he whines, his eyes twinkle with mischief, his mouth pouty and _delicious_. (Simon knows how to get to me with one look.) “Shep teaches me the best American expressions.”

I wish I could say something witty to that. But I'm still too traumatised by this whole situation. 

“Besides your aunt spelt my feet into the mud with **Stay your ground** ,” he continues, clearly not planning on waiting and letting me speak. 

Not that I am capable of speaking. I’m still in shock, but Simon might not realize that yet. 

“I haven't forgotten. It's payback time,” he states triumphantly. 

My boyfriend mentions something that happened years ago because he holds a grudge like _no one else_. 

Well, that is not quite true. He and Fiona sure are made from the same mould. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 💙


End file.
